I Just Want to Sew!
by Ferien
Summary: Poor Ishida only wants to sew. He's very much looking forward to his high-tech sewing machine, and never really asks to be dragged into a whole other world. Suddenly, he's being called "Sasuke", and this guy that looks like Kurosaki won't leave him alone!


**Simple Summary: Ishida finds himself suddenly dumped into the place of a lost boy called "Sasuke Uchiha". He's forced to take his place in Team 7, but the poor Quincy only wants a quiet place to sew! Stop the drama already!**

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><p>It's only been a few days since the huge battle with Aizen, and Kurosaki is already running everywhere, exerting much more energy then he's actually supposed to.<p>

Sometimes, I really just don't get that guy. He's going through a serious phase, and Urahara-san clearly said he could lose his reiatsu any time, yet, the stubborn idiot insists on moving about.

And you wouldn't believe the first thing he had wanted to do when he woke from a long nap - study his World History Book. It's Kurosaki's _epic _failure of a subject, not to mention he absolutely detests the class...

Honestly, even my large brain capacities fail to grasp Kurosaki's twisted logic.

"Thanks, Ishida," Kurosaki says as I hand him his textbook.

Good _Lord_, the guy had even brought the material to study with him into Soul Society - I just don't know what to make of it. Is it possible that I didn't even see Kurosaki carry the dam book when we had gone through that gate so long ago?

"Was the teacher on World War Two?" Kurosaki questions, settling into a comfortable position upon his bed.

I sigh, peering over his shoulder to look at the open pages. "Yes," I begin. "In fact, we were on the chapter of Germany-"

Kurosaki interrupts me with an enthusiastic wave of his hands, nearly slapping the glasses off my face. "OH, I KNOW! We were on the Nazis...and..." He falters, his face scrunching up in absolute concentration. "HILTER!" he yells, to which I move back quickly in order to avoid the wave of spit that's flying from his mouth. "WE were on HITLER AND THE NAZIS! Weren't they communist?"

His face is so bright - it looks like he just won the million-yen lotto. Except, I hate to say this, but that lottery ticket was actually mine from the start.

"No, Kurosaki," I groan, pointing at a table on the textbook. "Hitler was not communist. He was a _fascist._" Suddenly, I'm tempted to take that a step further..._Now, Kurosaki-Chan, repeat after me...f-a-s-c-i-s-t..._

Kurosaki doesn't lose confidence at all. Not one bit. The smile on his face only grows as he pumps a fist into the air. "With you around, Ishida, I'm bound to ace the test! It's in two weeks, right?"

Uh oh. I'm not liking where this is going...not at all.

"You can tutor me every day now - I'll finally stop getting an F in that class!" Kurosaki finishes, grinning wildly.

I swear, there's a flashing light bulb on his head. This can't do. I form my Quincy Bow, and shoot the dam thing to pieces.

"Study yourself, Kurosaki. Besides, I'm going back to my house. It's not like I don't have my schoolwork to get through." I stand up, vowing to go through that gate back to the human world right now. I've only been putting it off because of some rather unneeded concern for the overly energetic idiot.

"What?" Kurosaki is panicking now. He struggles to get out of his bed, but ends up hissing in pain at some unhealed wound on his body. "Hey, come back, Ishida! I need an A in that class...ISHIDA! ISSSHHHHIIIIDDDDAAAAAAAAA!"

Too late. The door slams in his face as I make my quick escape. Let Orihime and Chad handle the rest.

The trip to the Human World was a fast one. In no time at all, I was back in my apartment in Karakura town, greeted by about a hundred different sewing machines. Home sweet home.

I've been using the Singer 7258 Stylist Model Sewing Machine for quite some time, mainly for creating mini dresses to tease Kon with, but now I can vaguely recall my dis-satisfaction with the machine before I had left for Hueco Mundo.

I scramble to my computer, which was surprisingly still on, immediately heading to E-Bay to check my bids. "YES!" I exclaim out loud. Once again, Ishida Uryuu, sewing master, has won the ultimate auction - Brother CS6000I Computerized Sewing Machine, cheap, unused, and most importantly of all, A BRAND NEW MODEL!

I nearly lose it right then and there. Just look at the features: An auto-threading feature, a foot pedal, drop-in bobbing, wide table accessories, a 110 Volt Motor, and even a 25-YEAR WARRANTY. HOLY SHIT.

And what was that? It's to arrive at my apartment tomorrow? Fucking Kurosutchi, my life is complete!

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><p>I'm really impatient for the rest of the day, and staying at home would only make it worse. My hands are just <em>itching <em>to sew since it's been so long, but no, I won't allow that to happen until the new machine arrives. So I leave my apartment, deciding to take a walk around the neighborhood.

It's a nice day. Really. The sun is bright in the sky, the birds are chirping, and it's not too cold nor too hot. I remember how long it's been since peace came to Karakura.

I travel my usual path, winding around my area, then entering Kurosaki's, passing Urahara-san's shop, and finally entering the park. Oddly enough, there's no one in the place today. Usually, children are playing wildly on the playground or swinging on the swings.

But upon stepping onto the park's grassy area, I immediately knew why. There was an odd and mysterious presence about - something close, but not quite, to one of a Hollow's.

A sound of a footstep startles me, and I immediately whirl around, calling up my Quincy bow. It appears to be a shimmering image of some boy - he looks to be about half-conscious, almost as if sleep-walking on the grass.

I don't lower my guard though. I keep the arrow aimed at the boy as he comes closer to me. The blue light around him suddenly begins to fade just as his eyes snaps open.

I barely have enough time to whip out my Seele Schneider as the boy charges at me, a curious, knife-like weapon in his hand. The force of his attack resonates through me as our weapons contact, and suddenly, my entire body feels light.

My vision suddenly begins to fade and I have just enough time to notice a black pattern in his crimson eyes before the world is spinning around me. I feel as if I'm being ripped into a hundred pieces as my head is overcome by dizziness.

Eventually, it stops, and I find myself lying face down on a rather unpleasant-feeling floor. My eyes adjust to the light, and I'm looking at a pattern of crystals, shining blue and glimmering under the sun's dim rays.

So _that's _what I'm lying on. No wonder I felt so uncomfortable. I struggle to sit up, wincing as the stones poke me in about a thousand different areas. Somehow, I still don't feel right.

I barely have enough time to wonder where I am when a very loud, and (how ironic) Kurosaki-sounding voice, echoes through the entire cave.

"HEY, SASUKE!" it screams. "WHERE DID YOU GO?"

Sasuke? Who in the world? Instead, I ignore the voice, standing up to look around at a very blurry world around me.

Then it hit me - my glasses are gone. I'm tempted to slap myself on the forehead again. Oh shit, what a bad time to lose them.

I immediately kneel down and begin feeling around the surrounding area for any sign of it. But before I can get far, a shadow falls over me and I'm startled, (how did I not notice them?) glancing up in time to see three curious-looking people.

The girl is wearing a red dress, and has long, pink hair. The man standing next to her has the craziest hair ever. I've seen plenty of weird hairstyles, considering the Arrancars and all, but...

I remember Kurosaki going on about Gatsby hairwax or something, and I didn't even want to think about how much of that stuff that guy probably had on. And that isn't even all - he appears to have only one eye, the rest of his face obscured by some mask. What is he, some ninja from one of those comic books in the store? There's even a headband with an odd symbol scraped on it to complete the set. Good Lord, is that what fashion has come to these days?

And the boy standing right in front of me. He gave me an immediate impression of Kurosaki - that goofy grin, wacky orange hair, and a rather obnoxious look. His mouth opens, and he points at me rudely. "Who are YOU? You're not Sasuke!"

"Let's not be rude, Naruto," the man speaks up in a commanding tone. I took him to be the boy's mentor. His eyes come to rest on me now, and I feel uncomfortable as he scrutinizes me, without doubt, a practiced move. "Which village are you from?" he finally questions.

Village? I frown. With my experience from the Arrancars, I'm not too avid on giving out information, but there was something about this whole situation that almost made me laugh. I mean, here was three crazy-looking people and we're standing in some jacked-up cave. They seem pretty polite too. What harm could possibly happen?

"Karakura Town?" I offer the man. He looks confused, and opens his mouth to reply, but the boy in front of him, Naruto, I was assuming, interrupts him.

"Who cares about him - where's Sasuke!"

I have just enough time to think logically. Did they mean the boy that I happened to stumble upon in the park? "I did meet someone earlier, when I was walking. He came out of nowhere, and attacked me." They're suddenly interested, and leans in closer to hear me. "He has dark hair, and oh! The oddest eyes ever. Crimson red, with black patterns..."

I see the man do a double-take - no doubt that last piece of information rang a bell with him.

"Where did you see him?" Orange-haired boy demands.

"In a park, near my apartment," I reply, to which they're still looking very puzzled. "Would you be so kind to tell me where I am right now?"

"Crystal Cave, near Konoha." The girl finally says something. "You sound an awful lot like Sasuke-Kun."

_Thank you for the compliment, miss. _Somehow, I didn't find it very amusing that I was being compared to that angry-looking boy I had fought earlier.

"Well," the man finally says. "I don't know where Sasuke went, but let's this clear this up when we go back to the village. Do you mind coming with us?"

I shrug. They were nice enough to offer me a possible ride back home. "Sure."

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" the boy suddenly says, uninvited. "What's your name?"

I didn't bother to make up a name - I wasn't a very creative person after all. "Ishida. Ishida Uryuu."

"Nice to meet you," Naruto continues, and he steps forward, offering me a primitive handshake.

Instantly, there's an audible cracking of glass that echoes throughout the cave. The man and the girl look startled, but the sound was all too familiar to me. That's the third time my glasses broke this year, two times by Kurosaki, and oddly enough, the third time by this Kurosaki-Clone.

I groan in despair.

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><p><strong>Declaration: I am NOT a humorous person in any way, or in any manner. I'm a cynical, misanthropic, and sadistic person. I swear!<strong>

**I don't even know how this idea came into my mind. It just happened, and this story popped out of nowhere. I hope Ishida isn't too OoC. Then again, there's probably not much to the character except a few morals here and there.**

**By the way, Sasuke and Ishida share the same voice actor, if you didn't catch that in the story. I think...Noriaki Suigiyama was the name?**

**I'm warning you now - don't expect this story to update very often. I am a busy man...just like Ishida with sewing (too bad he never gets to try his new machine).**

**Have a pleasant day.**

**~Tenzo.**


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